What Not to Say in a Grievance Meeting

What not to say in a grievance meeting:

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Below are the steps on what not to say in a grievance meeting. We suggest taking the following steps during the grievance meeting so that you know what to say, and furthermore, what not to say in a grievance meeting:

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Step 1: Don’t ramble during the grievance meeting. It would be best to go through each of the points within the grievance letter, which you submitted to assist your employer in knowing specifically what it is that you feel aggrieved about i.e., (1) health and safety at work; (2) pay; (3) bullying etc,.

Step 2: Try to separate your emotion when explaining the facts during the grievance meeting. It is very easy to get emotional and tongue tied when going through the points within your grievance letter. We suggest when you attend the grievance meeting with your employer that you break your grievance letter down to the relevant issues which you feel aggrieved about. This will assist you in focussing on the important parts of your grievance letter during the grievance meeting.

Step 3: Don’t be aggressive during the grievance meeting. Be polite but firm. Don’t be argumentative. If the grievance meeting becomes hostile, excuse yourself. You have every right to be treated with dignity and respect during the grievance meeting. However, sometimes tempers flare.

Step 4: Count to 3 in your head before answering any questions during the grievance meeting. Don’t answer any questions which you feel are trick questions to catch you out during the grievance meeting. Think carefully about your answers before replying.

Step 5: Ask your own questions during the grievance meeting. The grievance meeting is your opportunity to ask questions too. It is best to ask questions which don’t elicit a yes or no answer. Below are some example questions, which you can ask your employer during the grievance meeting:

  • Specifically, what steps has my employer and the HR Department taken to prevent John Doe from subjecting me to a course of bullying and harassment?
  • On what date/s has John Doe received Dignity at Work training over the last three years?
  • Specifically what steps has my employer taken to observe a statutory duty of care for my health, safety and welfare at work?
  • Specifically what steps is my employer now going to take to prevent John Doe from continuing to pursue a course a course of conduct against me?

Step 6: Ask if the grievance meeting is being recorded. If so, ask for a copy of the recording straight after the grievance meeting. Don’t be fobbed off.

Step 7: If HR are taking notes during the grievance meeting ask for a photocopy of the minutes of the grievance meeting straight after the grievance meeting has concluded. Don’t let HR send the notes later. Ask for the minutes of the grievance meeting there and then. Offer to use your mobile phone to take pictures of the minutes of the grievance meeting. You don’t want to give your employer the opportunity to remove anything from the original minutes of the grievance meeting.

Step 8: As stated above, articulate clearly to HR during the grievance meeting specifically what your grievances are, which you are raising, for example :

Step 9: During the grievance meeting we suggest that you provide the name/s, date/s and time/s the incident/s of bullying, harassment, discrimination occurred. Make sure you make clear to the HR Department during the grievance meeting that the incidents of bullying, harassment, discrimination or victimisation are not one-off incidents, but rather form a ‘course of conduct’ being a ‘pattern of behaviour’.

Step 10: Ask for certain members of staff to be interviewed as part of the grievance process. Perhaps even ask your workplace colleagues to provide you with a witness statement before attending the grievance meeting.

Step 11: Ask during the grievance meting for updates weekly from the HR Department regarding the progression of your grievances.

Step 12: Ask for the grievance meeting to be held in a neutral location especially if you suffer from anxiety, depression, PTSD or hypertension or any other medical condition, which is aggravated by stress.

Step 13: Ask for breaks during the grievance meeting especially if you feel emotional.

Step 14: If you have a disability or impairment, make sure that any reasonable adjustments are agreed in writing before attending the grievance meeting.

Step 15: Don’t answer leading questions by your employer during the grievance meeting. Put shortly, don’t feel compelled to answer questions which you feel are duplicitous. If the grievance investigating officer appears to be bias, then object to their appointment. The grievance investigating officer may attempt to ask the same question twice, but in a different way to catch you out.

Step 16: Don’t agree to anything during the grievance meeting. Do NOT be pressured by the HR Department during the grievance meeting to agree to any statements they make, or for that matter, what the HR Department suggests moving forward. State to the HR Department during the grievance meeting that you want to think about what they have suggested or proposed.

Step 17: If you don’t feel comfortable attending a grievance meeting in person, ask for the grievance meeting to be delayed or undertaken via video link. If you have a disability or impairment, you can also request to be accompanied to the grievance meeting by a friend or family member as a reasonable adjustment. None of the clients who we support actually attend a grievance meeting. Instead, we undertake the grievance process via written form. If you do not want to attend the grievance meeting then reach out to us to assist you at – samandamy@pm.me or call us 9-5 UK time on 07775943414. We work 7 days a week other than Christmas Day, New Years Day and Easter Sunday.

Step 18: Make sure during the grievance meeting that you outline the impact to your health and wellbeing caused by workplace stress such as – sleepless nights, night sweats, ruminating thoughts, anxiety, depression etc,. Make sure you say during the grievance meeting that work-related stressors have had a “detrimental impact on your health and wellbeing”. This way you are asserting a statutory right on grounds of health and safety in accordance with s.44(1)(c) of The Employment Rights Act 1996:

“He brought to his employer’s attention, by reasonable means, circumstances connected with his work which he reasonably believed were harmful or potentially harmful to health or safety.”

Step 19: Make sure you inform your employer during the grievance meeting that you find the bullying and harassment which you have been subjected to “unwanted, uninvited and unwelcome” to you as the complainant. If your workplace colleague, supervisor or boss has created a toxic working environment then say so during the grievance meeting. For example, if subjected to bullying and harassment say the working environment is “hostile, oppressive and intimidating”. Provide examples during the grievance meeting of bullying and harassment.

Step 20: If the bullying and harassment has been ‘undignified’ or an affront to your dignity, then you must outline during the grievance meeting the injury caused to your feelings by the bullying, harassment or discrimination.

Step 21: If the employer suggests during the grievance meeting that you attend occupational health, then please visit our webpage on what not to say to occupational health

Step 21: Visit our webpage on workplace investigations, in addition to our webpage on attending meetings and hearings.

My wife Amy & I are employment consultants with 26 years combined experience assisting clients like you! We work for the employee, not for the employer.

We know all too well what you are presently going through, as Amy and I took our own employers to the Employment Tribunal due to being subjected to a toxic work environment caused by bullying and harassment. As such, we have already walked the path, which you now tread. After suing our employers, Amy & I created this website to help employees like you to understand their employment rights UK.

Over the last 13 years, we have helped thousands of clients resolve their employment disputes with their employer.

Amy & I can assist you in obviating the common mistakes, which we often see employees make when submitting a grievance letter for bullying and harassment in the workplace. You only get one chance to get your grievance letter right, so make sure that you do just that!

You don’t have to face this process alone. Sometimes, just talking through your employment issues can give you a new perspective on what to do, and furthermore, how to go about doing it. We can write your grievance letter for you. We can hold your hand throughout the entire grievance process from beginning to end. We can assist you in avoiding the common mistakes which we see employees make when going through the grievance process with their employer. Therefore, you don’t have to be alone in this process. Reach out to us on 07775943414 or email us at samandamy@pm.me

We work 7 days a week, 9-5 UK time, because we know all too well that your employment problems don’t just end on a Friday afternoon! Go on, pick up the phone and call us! 

Amy & I can have a telephone consultation with you (£35) or write you a custom letter of grievance if you need help on any of the following matters:

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Reach out to us at: samandamy@pm.me or call during working hours 9-5 on 07775943414.